Saturday, July 01, 2006

Rogues for when "Superman Returns" returns


When the time comes for an inevitable sequel, the big guy's going to need enemies to fight, right? So which members of Supes' underused rogues gallery will be starring in Superman Returns Again, or whatever they end up calling the next installment of the Super-franchise? That's the subject of this article, in Washington altweekly the Pacific Northwest Inlander. Two villains who didn't make the cut are written up below.

Remarkably, The Onion's AV Club' Keith Phipps had a pretty similar idea for a story, although while I focused on the Man of Steel's top rogues, he hilariously went right for the bottom of the barrel, including the wannabe Titano, the Super-Ape, King Krypton, the Super-Gorilla (pictured above, in matching Superman outfit) and abstract concepts like poverty and obsolescence. His is much funnier.

Now here are your bonus rogue write-ups:

TOYMAN

Winslow Schott was a brilliant toymaker who turned to super-crime, his modus operandi being to commit robberies using deadly versions children’s toys. The colorful motif and the fact that he’s a few hotels and a thimble short of a Monopoly game make him Superman’s most Batman-like villain.

Adaptation history: A regular member of the Legion of Doom on Superfriends (where he resembled a swishy marionette), he got a creepy update on Superman: The Animated Series, where he was a little person in a glossy ventriloquist dummy’s mask. His only live action appearance was on Lois & Clark.

Benefits: His is an interesting gimmick, which lends itself to cinematic set-pieces of giant toy soldiers with wind-up keys sticking out of their backs and giant teddy bears guarding a Lego fortress.

Downside: Lacks the recognition of most of Superman’s rogue’s gallery.

Odds: 3 to 1


METALLO

Small-time crook John Corben ironically hit the big time after a near-fatal car accident completely destroyed his body. A Good Samaritan robotics specialist was luckily passing by, and was able to transplant Corben’s still-living brain into a powerful robot body. The body’s power source made him a natural foe for Superman: A kryptonite heart.

Adaptation history: He’s appeared in live action on Superboy and Lois & Clark and was a regular on Superman: The Animated Series, where he was voiced by Malcolm McDowell.

Benefits: As a human-looking cyborg, Metallo’s probably the easiest villain to create in live action, next to Luthor himself, and he makes a good deputy villain or super-powered henchman. Plus, McDowell’s probably available to play him.

Downside: He has little to no name recognition beyond comic book fans.

Odds: 10 to 1

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