Well, that's one way to reduce one's comics collection

(Above: Never around when you need him)

So, unfunny story: Some motherfuckers broke into my apartment over the course of the last few days, popping out a screen window and climbing through it into my back room.

They made off with a very sad list of hardly-worth-anything-to-anyone-but-me shit, including:

—an old applesauce jar one-quarter full of nickels

—most of my DVDS, including She's All That, "Hey look it's Alyssa Milano in a state of undress!" movie Embrace of the Vampire, Transformers: The Movie, just about every Miyazaki movie, the Star Wars: Clone Wars micro-series and, most unforgivably, the Remix! Special Fan Edition of Empire Records! (Grrr!) Thank God they didn't find Beverly Hills, 90210 Season 1...

—a plastic fishing tackle box containing a couple of two dollar bills and a commemorative gold coin from the first Gulf War (it was a Christmas present), and some foreign bills from France, China and Canada

—and, most relevant to EDILW, two long boxes full of comics.

Really, who steals comic books? It's not like I had a bunch of Golden Age classics laying around or anything. The only place to even sell comics in Columbus will give you three-to-five cents an issue, so these chuckleheads are going to make somewhere in the neighborhood of $10-$20 on them, tops.

I don't keep real great inventory, but it looks like they stole one box containing random, non-Justice League DC super-team books—the last volume of JSA, various volumes of Titans related comics and, most gallingly, All-Star Squadron and Young All-Stars comics, which I'm always trying to find in back-issue bins(This makes the need for Showcase Presents: The All-Star Squadron even more urgent!)—and a box of WildStorm and Image titles from the '90s—The Maxx, Darker Image #1 (including Rob Liefeld's "Bludwulf"), and the first year or so of Spawn, which I was going to will to nieces (Maybe they'd be worth money by the time I die...?)

Anyway, I've wasted most of the night looking for clues, tallying up losses, talking to police officers, calling the places that buy used comics and DVDs, setting bear traps beneath my windows, and sharpening the bladed objects I keep at hand while sleeping, so I'm afraid I don't have a good comics post in me tonight. This is all you get! The burglars also stole my will (and time) to blog, curse them.