Marvel's August previews reviewed

So, in the good old days, back when DC and Marvel solicits consisted of several complete sentences, forming a paragraph, DC's previews would be released on a Monday at 5 p.m., immediately followed by Marvel's on the following Tuesday. Then the world went mad, and Marvel started releasing their solicits an entire week after DC releaser theirs.

This week, they went back to releasing them the day after, completely throwing me off my game (such as my "game" is). I don't do well with change, guys!

So days late, here's a look at what Marvel will be releasing in August of this year. So you can plan ahead. To read their full solicits, you can check them out at Comic Book Resources, and at ComicsAlliance, too. Whichever you prefer.

To read only a couple, look at some covers, and eavesdrop on me talking back to them, you can stay here, with me.

That's a pretty nice cover for Astonishing X-Men #53. Good job, Dustin Weaver.

Hey, did you know Angel grew his hair out? I did not. But now I do! (Get a haircut, Angel!)

AVENGERS VS X-MEN #9 & 10 (of 12)
ISSUE #9 - JASON AARON (w) • ADAM KUBERT (A)
Cover by JIM CHEUNG
...
• Their numbers dwindling, the Avengers stage a daring raid on the X-Men’s prison to rescue their captive members—and you won’t believe where it is!
• Alliances begin to change as the nature of the Phoenix becomes apparent!
• And in the end, it all comes down to Spider-Man!
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

Prison camp...? Well, the Avengers have no right to complain. Iron Man had his own Guantanamo-like prison camp during Civil War, in which he indefinitely detained any costumed crime fighter or super-powered person, regardless of nationality, in a different dimension until they agreed to reveal their secret identity to him and sign up for the American superhero draft.

Hey! Black Panther! Slow down man; you leapt right out of the picture!

So my favorite part of the new Captain Marvel design (with "new Captain Marvel" referring to Carol "Ms. Marvel" Danvers) was her cool she-fauxhawk. Looks like Marvel had her grow her hair out before the series actually shipped though, because a girl with short hair? Come on; that would be like someone drawing her without huge breasts, you know?They even altered the previously released images, so now, instead of looking like this,

she looks like this

, so it appears she wears a banana clip or a shitload of bobby pins when she's adventuring. Lady, have you never heard of a scrunchy?

But eh, what do I know about hair?

In other news, I guess Axel Alonso won Giganta from Dan DiDio and Jim Lee in a poker game.

INCREDIBLE HULK #12
JASON AARON (w) • CARLOS PACHECO (A)
Cover by MICHAEL KOMARCK
• HULK VS. WOLVERINE!!!
• HULK VS. THE THING!!!
• The conclusion of STAY ANGRY! What devious plan has Banner been up to? REVEALED HERE!!!!
32 PGS./Parental Advisory …$3.99

Hulk vs. Wolverine? Hulk vs. The Thing? Wow, those are some exciting match-ups! Has the Hulk ever fought Wolverine or The Thing before?!


Peter Parker, Spider-Man #156.1
ROGER STERN (W)
ROB DE LATORRE (A)
Cover by JOHN ROMITA, JR

Sensational Spider-Man #33.1& 33.2
TOM DEFALCO (W)
CARLO Barberi (A)
Covers by SIMONE BIANCHI

Web of Spider-Man #129.1 & 129.2
STUART MOORE (W)
DAMION SCOTT (A)
Cover by MIKE MCKONE

Ha ha ha! Now Marvel's publishing ".1" issues of books that don't even exist anymore! Awesome.

That said, I'm really excited to see the name "Damion Scott" in front of an "(A)", as I haven't seen his art in a good long time, and I wonder what it looks like now. I've purchased issues of Spider-Man comics in the past exclusively to see how Scott draws Spidey; I was disappointed by the book itself, but the art was cool. Scott's a really exciting artist whose art has evolved in very interesting directions very quickly. He's the sort of dude who should always have a mainstream superhero gig with one of the Big Two any time he wants one, just for awesomeness' sake. (Not that awesomeness is necessarily considered a virtue at the Big Two, as it isn't).

Well, that's a fine Hulk cover by artist Dale Eaglesham. I do wonder why this book is called Hulk instead of Red Hulk though...?

Say, who came first—Texas Twister or G.I. Joe pilot Wild Bill...? I suppose I could look it up on the Internet, but I'd run the risk of realizing that I was looking up those two bits of trivia on the Internet while in the midst of doing so, and getting really, really sad. It's just not the sort of thing I used to think I'd be doing when I was a 35-year-old man, back when I was young and full of dreams.

Come to think of it, neither is this...

Bi-Beast appearance collector's please note: Bi-Beast is on the cover of Secret Avengers #30. I hope creators Rick Remender and Matteo Scalera devote a scene to showing how Bi-Beast drinks, given his two mouths. The book is apparently set in a bar, after all.