Marvel's February previews reviewed

Dear comics-buying public,

Please buy the living shit out of this title. Thanks.

Your friend,
Caleb



THE AGE OF THE SENTRY #6 (of 6)
Written by JEFF PARKER
Penciled by NICK DRAGOTTA
Cover by DAVE BULLOCK
This is it, the full-length story that, oddly enough, you keep demanding... THE DEATH OF THE SENTRY! How will the Man of Gold finally fall to his arch villain, The Void? How will the world go on? What about his best gal Lindy (sniff) and Scout n' Li'l Watchdog (who never hurt anybody 'cause he's a good dog) and Harrison Oogar and the Hillbillionaires and.... (sob)... we- we can't do this... excuse us, please...

I never thought the day would come when I would a) be reading a Sentry solo series, let alone b) being sad to learn that it was going to end in a few months.



DR. DOOM AND THE MASTERS OF EVIL #2 (of 4)
Written by PAUL TOBIN
Penciled by PATRICK SCHERBERGER
Cover by KARL KERSCHL
The Masters of Evil have themselves a plan, and all that stands in their way is the Circus of Crime and their ringleader...Doctor DOOM! When an untouched Hittite temple is found deep inside a New Mexico cave, the rush is on for the untold wealth, and a map where "eternal life" is the X that marks the spot! But where is the original Ringleader, and even with Doom now leading them, what can a bunch of circus performers do against the MASTERS OF EVIL?

I like how the title of this comic sounds like the name of a rock band.



FANTASTIC FOUR #564
Written by MARK MILLAR
Pencils & Cover by BRYAN HITCH
Dear Readers, you have our word that nothing this lame happens inside this very special Christmas issue. Yours sincerely, Mark and Bryan. Part 1 (of 2).

Yes, nothing’s lamer than a family sitting around a table, about to eat a meal together…how could a comic book about that possibly be interesting at all? What would it entail? Dialogue? Pages and pages of it? Like, whole conversations? Feh.

You know, sometimes I wonder if Mark Millar has Benjamin Button’s disease, as it seems like his work is getting less and less mature as time goes on.


INCREDIBLE HERCULES #126
Written by FRED VAN LENTE & GREG PAK
Penciled by RODNEY BUCHEMI
Cover by ED MCGUINNESS
A special DOUBLE-SIZED issue that is the perfect jumping-on point for new readers! Proudly presenting, for the first time in Marvel continuity ... the ORIGIN OF HERCULES! How did the young man who becomes the Lion of Olympus learn of his divine heritage? In what battle did he earn the title "Prince of Power?" And, most importantly, why does the goddess HERA hate him so, now that her DARK REIGN begins to fall across New Olympus? PLUS: In the aftermath of the Skrull invasion, AMADEUS CHO goes on "The Quest for Kirby!"

Regular readers already know how much I like this title and, in fact, may be getting sick of me praising it. I just wanted to call attention to the fact that this is described as "the perfect jumping-on point for new readers," and while that's something a solicitation copy writer would say, I wanted to take the opportunity to fully endorse the sentiment. Come on new readers, jump on!


MARVEL ADVENTURES THE AVENGERS #33
Written by PAUL TOBIN
Penciled by IG GUARA
Cover by ROGER CRUZ
Ka-Zar's in town, and needs the Avengers' help! While helping the Natural History Museum install a new dinosaur diorama, Ka-Zar decides he should get a driver's license, and the Avengers are pegged to help the lord of the Savage Land learn to drive! As if THAT isn't bad enough (and it IS) the manical villain Stegron steals a rare dinosaur bone he believes can raise his powers to enormous levels, and he's right! Drive on up to this issue for action x 3 with slugfests, dinosaurs, and driving lessons, in "You're Driving Me Crazy!"

The best solicitations are the ones that you only need to read a few words of to get super-excited about, no matter what the rest of the paragraph says. For example, "Ka-Zar decides he should get a driver's license."


MODELS, INC. #1 (of 4)
Written by PAUL TOBIN
Pencils by VIÇENC VILLAGRASSA
Cover by SCOTT CLARK
Fashion Week is always a hectic time for models, and this year is no exception. Between escaped wolves, robbery attempts, and overly friendly police officers, Mary Jane Watson, Patsy Walker, Jill Jerold, Chili Storm and Millicent (Millie the Model)
Collins are testing the limits of their endurance. But when a brilliant young set designer is found murdered with three bullet holes in his back, and Millie proves to be the prime suspect, the models are forced to play detective in order to save one of their own!

Hey, it's kinda sorta the team from King-Size Spider-Man Special #1! Too bad Colleen Coover's not drawing this outing.

I'm not familiar with Villagrassa, but he (or she?) would have to be really, really, really, really good to get me to buy a $3.99 22-page comic book.

Please don’t go $3.99 Land, Marvel; it’s a place I just can’t follow.



PUNISHER: FRANK CASTLE #67
Written by DUANE SWIERCZYNSKI
Penciled by MICHEL LACOMBE
Cover by DAVE JOHNSON
“SIX HOURS TO KILL, PART 2: FIELD DAY”
W.C. Fields once mused that he’d rather be dead than play Philadelphia. Well, if you cross paths with Frank Castle, you’ll be able to have it both ways. Castle has been injected with a slow-acting poison that will kill him in less than hours—but don’t think he’s going to spend them moping around. As long as blood is still pumping through his rock-hard veins, the Punisher plans on killing as many dirtbags as possible. But the Philadelphia underworld isn’t going to roll over so easily. Neither is the top-secret black bag ops unit that dosed Frank. And don’t forget the Mayor of Philadelphia, who only sees one way of saving his already-shaky political career: killing Frank way before his six hours are up.

You know what was a cool movie? Crank.


ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #131
Written by BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS
Pencils and Cover by STUART IMMONEN
Ultimatum tie-in!
The hits just KEEP ON COMING! Just when our waterlogged webslinger thought things couldn't get any worse, Spidey finds himself face-to-face with none other than the HULK! PLUS Spider-Woman, Daredevil, and Doctor Strange amidst the destruction... and not everyone lives to see the next issue...!

Can Brian Michael Bendis maintain his standard level of better than 90% of super-comics on the most consistent title in the history of ever when faced with his greatest challenge ever, a tie-in to a Jeph Loeb event comic? Tune it to find out!

And, by the way, a tie-in to an event comic in an Ultimate title? I thought the whole point of the Ultimate line was that it was the place to go to avoid tie-ins, event comics and the insidious influence of Jeph Loeb.