Sunday, July 19, 2009

The patrons of the Hold It Inn bar in New Jersey aren't very bright

Okay, so a huge, heavily-muscled, pissed-off guy with weird hair, a pair of some kind of crazy shoulder pads and a wrist-mounted crossbow comes into the bar and their first impulse is to make fun of him?

Granted, he hasn't quite made it apparent that he's completely insane just yet—he has two personalities, a fancy-talking smart guy named Donald and a violent, stuttering thug named Roadpig—and he did live his huge-ass cinder block-topped club outside with his motorcycle, but still, dude doesn't exactly have the Safe To Fuck With aura about him, does he?

Now, in the defense of the Hold It Inn patrons, Donald/Roadpig did order a plate of chocolate doughnuts from a bar. What kind of bar serves doughnuts? By the plate full, no less?

At any rate, three panels and a SPLAT! CRUNCH CRACK! later, two of Roadpig's tormentors go flying through the front window and the others are eating his boots and fists.


That scene was from 1989's G.I. Joe #83, by Larry Hama, Ron Wagner and Fred Fredericks. It was in the stash of old comics I received last week, and one of the handful of issues of Marvel's old G.I. Joe comics I actually bought and read as a little kid.

I remember it very clearly, because of this particular panel:

I thought that panel was totally hot when I was 12. Not only could you can see Zarana's bare mid-riff and left shoulder as usual, but you could also see a small part of her left breast! Wow!

While Young Caleb had a thing for Zarana, the pink femullet-ed Dreadnok and sister of Zartan, it paled next to the crush he had on his true love of the G.I. Joe universe:
Lady Jaye, seen here in a one-panel appearance in the very same issue.

The cartoon version of Lady Jaye was even hotter than the comic book version, as she had a much cooler hair cut on the TV show:

I'm hopeful that IDW will eventually collect the entire 155-issue Marvel G.I. Joe series, in large part so I can find out what happens in this particular issue:
It sure looks promising.


Found in another old issue of Marvel's G.I. Joe series:

This was on one of Marvel's Bullpen Bulletin pages. You can read his responses to a variety of questions if you click on the image. I didn't realize just how long Dwayne McDuffie's been working in comics. It was very cool to read this and see that he had listed his "greatest unfulfilled ambition in the comics field" as writing Fantastic Four. About 20 years later, he got his chance to do so during a short but very successful post-Civil War, pre-Mark Millar/Bryan Hitch run on the title.


Dean said...

You ducked answering the important question- did Roadpig get his grape soda and donuts?

LurkerWithout said...

As a fan of the cartoon you should know that your love for both girls will never be. Because Jaye/Flint is unbreakable and Zarana loves the computer nerd Joe. Whose name I can't remember. Dialtone maybe?

Jeremy H said...

Hmm, both women were masters of disguise. That seems like a very specific fetish you have there, sir.

Caleb said...


He was distracted by a news report regarding Zarana's arrest and left the barfight before the issue could be resolved.


Dialtone had the moustache and wore a beret. I know the Joe you're thinking of though...he wore gray...Mainframe, maybe?

And I don't think Jaye/Flint are completely unbrekable. There's at least a spark between him and The Baroness, if only a tiny, tiny one...

Anonymous said...

It was indeed Mainframe. Now you know . . . etc.

Wild Goose said...

I would be thrilled if the movie coming out next month has a live-action PSA after the credits roll.

Anonymous said...

Please tell me McDuffie got to throw that pie at Wolverine. Still doesn't beat Tobin having him eaten by a dinosaur three or four different times. :)