DC's June previews...reviewed!

It's that time of the month again! So open a new window pointed here and follow along as we reveew the previews of books that we won't be able to read for three months yet, starting with the second-most-unbelievable cover of the month...




COUNTDOWN #47-44 Story by Paul Dini. 47 written by Sean McKeever; art by Al Barrionuevo. 46 written by Jimmy Palmiotti& Justin Gray; art by Jesus Saiz. 45 written by Tony Bedard; art by Jim Calafiore. 44 written by Adam Beechen; art by Carlos Magno. Breakdowns by Keith Giffen. Covers by Ed Benes. This year-long weekly series featuring a cast of hundreds kicks into high gear in its second month, under the watchful eye of head writer Paul Dini! See Mary Marvel undergo a surprising transformation! Learn why Donna Troy and Jason Todd are integral players in a cosmic chess game! And see Jimmy Olsen as you’ve never seen him before!

Hey Mary, Supergirl called. She wants her wardrobe back. Sigh. This is probably the single most depressing image I’ve seen since…well, since this. And it’s only been a week or so since I saw that, which says more than a little about the state of DC Comics at the moment, doesn’t it?

I’ve been reading a lot of old-school Captain Marvel comics lately, and I’ve got to say, I never really wondered about what part of the body the magic lighting that turns Billy, Mary and Freddie into the Marvels comes into contact with. So thoughtful of Ed Benes to answer that question for us—clearly, in Mary’s case, it’s the right nipple.

And this is only one of four Benes Countdowncovers in June! I look forward to more. Perhaps in the next, we’ll see young Mary Marvel using the speed of Zephyrus to pole-dance on a bolt of lightning.

Sigh.

As for the text, I’m depressed by the Jason Todd being integral part (unless this involves revealing him to be the Earth-3 Todd and then sending him back to Todd, I’m not all that excited), and intrigued by the “Jimmy Olsen as you’ve never seen him part.” Seriously? Is there a way we’ve never seen Jimmy Olsen before? Because I’ve seen him dress up as a woman, transformed into a giant turtle monster, given a giant, futuristic brain and about 500 other stupid transformations and disguises.





CATWOMAN #68 Written by Will Pfeifer. Art by David Lopez & Alvaro Lopez. Cover by Adam Hughes.Violence and the chaos hit home for Catwoman! Reverberations of this issue will be felt all through the DCU, starting in Countdown!

That is a damn fine cover image. My hat, Mr. Hughes, is off to you.




SUPERMAN/BATMAN #36 Written by Mark Verheiden & Marc Guggenheim. Art and cover by Pat Lee & Craig Yeung. The final chapter of the Metal Men’s return! Will Superman and Batman be able to stop Brainiac with Magnus' robots on his side? And what does Bruce have hidden away that’s so vital?

Pretty cool looking cover. Pat Lee is actually near the bottom of my Official List of Ideal Metal Men Artists (Mike Allred, Ty Templeton, Duncan Rouleau, Darwyn Cooke and Rick Burchett are in the top slots), but the Metal Men look pretty weirdly cool in that image, what with the strange shapes of their faces and their OMAC eyes.

But what I really like about the image is Batman’s pose there. I imagine Lee was going for something along the lines of Batman and Superman, defeated and injured at the feet of their seemingly unstoppable foes, but it looks more like Batman’s simply slapping himself on the forehead, going “I cannot believe that the World’s Finest is getting taken down by the freakin’ Metal Men.”

SUPERMAN/BATMAN #37 Written by Alan Burnett. Art and cover by Dustin Nguyen & Derek Fridolf. Variant cover by Claudio Castellini.Get ready for an epic tale written by Alan Burnett (Batman Beyond, The Superman/Batman Adventures animated series) with art by Dustin Nguyen (BATMAN) & Derek Fridolf! This haunting 6-part story arc will challenge Batman’s and Superman’s very souls, and could only be titled “Torment.”

Um, DC? You guys do realize there’s no rule stating that every single story in this particularly title has to be told in a six-part arc, right?






SUPERGIRL #16Written by Joe Kelly. Art by Alé Garza & Marlo Alquiza. Cover by Garza & Richard Friend. It’s Supergirl vs. Supergirl in an issue guest-starring the Man of Steel! Meanwhile, phantoms from the Zone have taken over the planet. Will the real Kara triumph over the threat?

OMG! Are they gonna ditch the newer, sluttier, universally loathed Supergirl for an older, less slutty, less universally hated version?

One can only hope.





THE AMAZING TRANSFORMATIONS OF JIMMY OLSEN TP Written by various. Art by various. Cover by Brian Bolland. Cub reporter Jimny Olsen stars in this light-hearted volume collecting his most memorable adventures from the late 1950s and 1960s, guest-starring Superman! Jimmy undergoes startling transformations into Elastic Lad, The Wolf-Man of Metropolis, The Human Porcupine and more in these stories from SUPERMAN’S PAL JIMMY OLSEN!

See what I mean? How haven’t haven’t we seen Jimmy before? While I already have several of these in Showcase Presents: Superman Family Volume 1, I’m going to buy this book as hard as I can. Hell, if they made all those Jimmy Olsens a super-team and gave them their own monthly book drawn by Brian Bolland, I’d buy that too.




CHECKMATE #15 Written by Greg Rucka. Art by Joe Bennett & Jack Jadson. Cover by Matthew Clark. Part 5 of “Checkout,” continued from OUTSIDERS #48! They say politics makes for strange bedfellows, and as their mission with the Outsiders reaches the end stage, the Royals are about to discover how many different meanings that has…

Man, am I relieved to see Egg Fu survives this week’s issue of 52. Considering how fun it would be to see his egg-like body shattered by Black Adam, I wasn’t sure if he’d make it out of that series alive or not.

Seeing this cover image made me think “Yes!” But the “written by Greg Rucka” part of the solicit made me think,“No!” The “continued from Outsiders part made me think “Noooooooo!”






JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #10 Written by Brad Meltzer. Art by Ed Benes & Sandra Hope. Cover by Michael Turner. Variant cover by Phil Jimenez & Andy Lanning. Best-selling author Brad Meltzer and superstar artist Ed Benes bring you the final chapter of "The Lightning Saga," as the villains are revealed! Retailers: This issue will feature two covers that may be ordered separately. The Standard Edition cover is by Michael Turner; one copy of the Variant Edition, with a cover by Phil Jimenez & Andy Lanning, may be ordered for every 10 copies of the Standard Edition ordered. Please see the Previews Order Form for further details.

We’ve all seen some godawful art from Michael Turner before, mostly on the covers of this very title. But this? This takes the fucking cake. Let’s try to ignore the fact that Turner has just drawn the biggest boobs in all of comic book history here for a moment, and look at just where he put them for a moment. Assuming that Power Girl has had some kind of plastic surgery to give her the biggest boobs in the known DC Universe, why on earth are they down there? (Likewise, what’s up with her cape typing her arm to her torso? Like she doesn’t have enough mobility issues already).

The incredible badness of this image is simply mind-boggling, and I can’t imagine why DC would even accept this, let alone print it on one of their most popular books.

Then I saw this part:

The Standard Edition cover is by Michael Turner; one copy of the Variant Edition, with a cover by Phil Jimenez & Andy Lanning, may be ordered for every 10 copies of the Standard Edition ordered.

That’s right, unless you buy ten issues of this eye-searingly bad cover, you cannot possibly get a copy of the Jimenez one. That means retailers will need to order ten copies for every one customer who normally buys JLoA to avoid torturing their customers, and regular readers will likely need to pay a heavily marked-up price to avoid bringing that Turner abomination into their homes. Could this be the first comic book cover that is terrible on purpose, so as to drive up demand for a variant cover?

I can think of no other explanation for the existence of this cover.






TEEN TITANS #48 Written by Adam Beechen. Art by Al Barrionuevo & Bit. Cover by Tony S. Daniel. An AMAZONS ATTACK tie-in issue guest-starring Supergirl! How far will Cassie and Kara go in the impending battle — and how will their choices affect their relationship with the Titans?

I’m seeing a lot of Battlecats and a lot of pegasi in these “Amazons Attack” images, but I’m not seeing any kangas. I better see some fucking kangas before this is over.

Also, take a moment to look at the foreground of this image, containing Tony S. Daniel’s interpretation of Wonder Girl and Supergirl. Why is it that they both look the exact same? Are they twins? Or is Daniel just not a very good artist, with only a single female face and body-type in his reppotoire? And check out Supergirl’s skirt. What’s…ah, why bother?







CLUBBING Written by Andi Watson. Art and cover by Josh Howard. CLUBBING is the third book from MINX, DC COMICS' new young adult graphic novel imprint. CLUBBING is written by the Eisner- and Harvey-nominated indie sensation Andi Watson (Geisha, Paris, Skeleton Key) and illustrated by Josh Howard (Dead @ 17),Wizard magazine's pick as the #1 independent book to watch in 2005. The crime: Getting caught with a fake I.D. at an extravagant West End nightclub. The punishment: Spending the summer at her Grandparent's stuffy country club. But Charlotte "Lottie" Brook, best known for her mile-high platforms, an endless i-tunes account and an unbridled passion for classic lit, will end up doing more than just serving time in country boot camp. Lottie will narrowly escape romance and end up solving a murder mystery on the 19th hole of her Grandparents’ golf course. This book also includes Lottie's Lexicon, a special dictionary feature that translates English slang to fluent American.

Oh, that Josh Howard. Awesome. At first I was a little disappointed to hear that the Andi Watson-written book wouldn’t also contain Andi Watson art. But if we get Howard art instead, I’m cool with that. This looks like it should be all sorts of awesome.

I wonder why they chose to run a quote from industry embarrassment (to steal Dirk Deppey’s term) Wizard though. In addition to being the last place one would go for recommendations on indie books to watch, it’s also the last magazine in the world that a girl, the target audience for the Minx line, would ever read.