Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Marvel's September previews reviewed

Kicking off an all-new miniseries bringing you two "classic" silver-age tales of the Sentry at the birth of the Marvel Age! When the Golden Guardian is critically injured, Scout, Lindy Lee and Watchdog have to travel back in time to learn exactly how Rob Reynolds became THE SENTRY. They must learn the secrets to save our hero – so he can save the world! PLUS: When the Tinkerer and the Mad Thinker team up to create a device capable of stealing the Sentry's powers, they only have one obstacle on their path to world domination. The parasitic beam takes HOURS to work! What evil scheme will keep the Sentry in place long enough to destroy him? Don't miss the breathtaking tale of monsters and mayhem!

I hate the Sentry. I love Jeff Parker, Paul Tobin and Nick Dragotta. So I guess Marvel found a way to make me buy a Sentry comic.

Fact: Even Dumb-ass '90s shit like symbiote fights looks awesome when John Romita Jr. draws it.

BIG HERO 6 #1 (of 6)
Pencils, Cover & Variant Cover by DAVID NAKAYAMA
The astonishing return of Big Hero Six! Who, you ask? Why none other than Japan's top heroes, defending the land of the rising sun in the name of the Emperor! Come join Hiro (the smartest boy in Japan), Baymax (his trusty robot companion), Honey Lemon (with her all-containing handbag), Gogo Tomago (somersaulting into an unstoppable energy ball)... plus, who are the Six's two new members? When unknown super-villains strike Tokyo, BH6 is on the scene, and the stage is set for new adventure and a new series!

Is this something brand new, or based on some old Claremont X-person concept from 27 years ago that I've just never heard of? Looks and sounds intriguing, but I'm not so sure about voluntarily subjecting myself to Claremont...

CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND MI13 #5 Written by PAUL CORNELL. Penciled by LEONARD KIRK. Cover by BRYAN HITCH. Monkey Variant by David Yardin. Blade is back. And what is Lady Jacqueline Falsworth to him, except another dead vampire? Plus: Excalibur in the suburbs, the tears of a Skrull and tea with Union Jack. Pick up the hottest book to come out of SECRET INVASION, by Paul Cornell (Dr. Who, WISDOM) and Leonard Kirk (HULK: WARBOUND, Batman).

They had me at “tea with Union Jack.” Guess I better hurry up and get caught up on the first few issues…

Oh, and “monkey variant?” Really? Good luck with that, Marvel.

FANTASTIC FOUR: TRUE STORY #3 (of 4) Written by PAUL CORNELL. Penciled by HORACIO DOMINGUEZ. Cover by NIKO HENRICHON. Okay, you remember that the FF had ventured into fiction to save the world? In this issue, we find out who the big villain is (one of the original Marvel villains, that the FF have never met!) Frankenstein vs. Dracula! Johnny collapses in the arms of Mr. Toad! And the deaths of nearly all the FF. Yes, in a miniseries. The guys on the main book are just going to have to deal. Join us as True Story becomes a true nightmare.

You’ve no idea how long I’ve waited to read the words “collapses in the arms of Mr. Toad” in the solicitations for upcoming Marvel comics…

Monkey Variant by Roger Cruz
"LOVE AND WAR," Part 1
The Greek Goliath is looking for some R&R after the events of "Sacred Invasion," and hopes to find it in the arms of ex-Renegade NAMORA. But there's no rest for warriors when the AMAZONS declare war on Atlantis! And these ain't your mama's Amazons-- is that why Amadeus Cho sides with them instead of Herc? Plus: ARES returns!

Why? I'm going to guess because he just hit puberty....? Anyway, Hercules, Namora, Amazons, Atlantis, Ares...this sounds like a story about Amazons attacking I can get in to.

Penciled by IG GUARA
It's always tough when your parents don't like the girl you're dating, but it's even rougher if you happen to be Thor, son of Odin! Worse, Odin sets Thor up on a date with a Frost Giant's daughter! When Thor ditches her to sneak away on a date with Storm, it's up to rest of the Avengers to cover for him.

This is a pretty nice image of the MA team, but if this is a story about Thor dating, I'd really like to see a nice Thor-on-a-date image on the cover, maybe something romance comic inspired...?

When Peter Parker's biology class goes on a field trip to a popular aquatic theme park, Pete can't wait for a day full of water, whales and walruses. But our hero never expected to find himself face-to-fin with an Atlantean villain determined to release the park's animal inhabitants back to the freedom of the ocean! Looks like Spidey is in DEEP trouble.

One of my favorite scenes in Kurt Busiek and Erik Larsen's The Defenders, which was the single greatest comic book Marvel has ever published (suck it, Kirby and Lee Fantastic Four!) is when the Hulk fights this dude Orka-with-a-K underwater in the Battle for Atlantis. He gets stronger the more whales that are around, so he keeps calling in more whales, and Hulk still—ahem—wails on him, and so then he calls in more whales, and this cycle continues until the book is over.

So Spidey vs. Orka in a done-in-one set at a Sea World-like popular aquatic theme park? Yeah, that sounds like it might be fun.

MARVEL APES #1 & 2 (of 4) Written by KARL KESEL. Pencils by RAMON BACHS. Cover by JOHN WATSON. Variant Cover For Marvel Apes #1 by RAMON BACHS. Variant Cover For Marvel Apes #2 by PHIL JIMENEZ. Flingin' feces, True Believer-- the entire Marvel Universe has gone APE! Just when he thinks life can't get any worse or weirder, Marty Blank – a.k.a. that lovable loser, the Gibbon -- finds himself and the brilliant-and-beautiful Dr. Fiona Fitzhugh transported to a world where monkeys rule and humans don't exist!. SEE the spectacular simian city of Monkhattan! MEET the hominoid heroes and villains – SPIDER-MONKEY! DOC OOK! IRON MANDRILL! SIMIAN TORCH! THE APE-VENGERS! And more! THRILL to the return of Speedball! CONTAINS No-Ads, as we are thrilled to present you backup tales exploring the Apeiverse! LEARN the dark secret of the primate planet! WORRY that the fate of the entire universe is in the hands of the Gibbon! Not a hoax, not a dream, not an imaginary story - just the most not-to-be-missed mini-series of the season! If you only buy one (well, two) comics this month about super-powered, intelligent apes-in-capes, it must be MARVEL APES! 40 PGS.(each)/ Rated T+ ...$3.99 (each)

Well, I really enjoyed reading that solicitation a lot.

I suppose this series debuting in September is to what we owe the probably-not-going-to-be-as-sought-after-as-the-zombie-variant monkey variant incentives.

Variant Cover by LEINIL FRANCIS YU
Sketch Variant Cover by LEINIL FRANCIS YU
EMBRACE CHANGE! With these words, the Skrulls have made their intentions clear but not everyone thinks they sound all that bad. Which heroes and icons are hell-bent on defending the Earth from the invasion, and who thinks a new era has dawned for mankind? The final double-page spread of this issue will send chills down your spine, and that is a promise!!
The blockbuster event of the year heads towards its shattering conclusion by Bendis and Yu.
32 PGS./Cardstock Cover/Rated T+ ...$3.99

It's a promise, but is it a money back guarantee?

And look...32 pages (ten of which will be ads) for $3.99! Marvel totally jacked up the price of this book after the first issue! Why isn't everyone freaking out about this?

Penciled by BUTCH GUICE
50/50 Variant Cover by ALEX MALEEV
Continuing the shocking exploration of the dark side of the Ultimate Unverse! For the first time we learn: How did Nick Fury become Nick Fury? How did the Hulk become the Hulk? And, finally, how did a baby Peter Parker connect to it all? Plus: the Ultimate Watcher has appeared and he is here to witness the Ultimatum!

How did Nick Fury become Nick Fury? I always just assumed Mr. and Mrs. Fury decided to name him Nick. But then, I suppose everything I thought I knew is wrong!!

WOLVERINE: FIRST CLASS #7 Written by FRED VAN LENTE. Pencils & Cover by MICHAEL GOLDEN. The SOVIET SUPER SOLDIERS have kidnapped Kitty's flame Colossus, and she and Wolverine must brave the dangers of Russia's irradiated Forbidden Zone to save him!

This is probably Marvel’s best title that is neither called Incredible Hercules nor written by Jeff Parker. And check out the artist on this issue: Michael Fucking Golden, as I believe they like to call him around the all-ages Marvel Adventures offices.

Oh, and speaking of Wolverine…

WOLVERINE: ORIGINS #28 Written by DANIEL WAY. Pencils & Cover by MIKE DEODATO. “DARK DECEPTION: PROLOGUE”FEATURING ART BY NEW REGULAR PENCILER, MIKE DEODATO, JR.! Wolverine’s days in the Weapon X program, his first encounter with The Incredible Hulk, his induction into the X-Men…it’s all here in the prologue to DARK DECEPTION, next month’s WOLVERINE: ORIGINS and X-MEN: LEGACY crossover!

WOLVERINE: ROAR Written by DUANE SWEIRZYNSKI. Pencils & Cover by MIKE DEODATO. A self-contained, double-sized one-shot written by Duane Swierzynski (Cable) and illustrated by Mike Deodato (Wolverine: Origins)! All Logan wanted was a place to stop for a cool drink and listen to absolutely nothing for a while. Well, at least he got his second wish. Because in Roamer, New Mexico (population 342, and falling fast) there’s a savage creature with revenge in its heart, and a roar that can blow out the eardrums of any living being within a mile…except for Logan, of course, whose regenerative abilities bring his hearing back after a minute. But “a minute” is not soon enough -- not when you have zero sense of balance and there’s a bloodthirsty creature that you can’t hear coming. A creature that won’t stop until Roamer is wiped off the face of the earth. A creature who wants the last thing you hear to be the sound of your own screams…

WOLVERINE: SAUDADE Written by JEAN-DAVID MORVAN. Pencils by PHILLIPE BOUCHET. Cover by PHILLIPE BOUCHET. Presented for the first time in North America: an amazing tale by two of Europe's top creators, starring one of the world's most popular super heroes! While on holiday in Brazil, the X-Man known as Wolverine has his motorcycle stolen by a group of young boys -- one of whom has a secret. When a brutal gang kidnaps the boy, Logan sets off on a quest to find him " leading to a deadly encounter with a corrupt faith healer who may not be what he appears! WOLVERINE: SAUDADE is a vicious saga of bloody revenge as only Wolverine can deliver!

I don’t know if anyone’s ever pointed this out before or not, but Marvel sure seems to publish a lot of Wolverine comics. This isn’t counting the 15 X-Men and Avengers titles he’ll be appearing in this month, nor his colon (:) free monthly, which is apparently late or in a skip month or something because Steve McNiven is slow.

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS #16 Written by JEFF PARKER. Pencils & Cover by PATRICK SCHERBERGER. Here's what it's all been building to! The youngest, most rad members of the X-Men and the Fantastic Four ditch their lame teams and form THE MOST AWESOME DUO IN THE HISTORY OF SUPER-HEROING! Get ready world for ICEMAN and HUMAN TORCH! And Spider-Man shows up too! Chill out and feel the burn! (solicit text contributed by Robert Drake)

If Brian Michael Bendis showed up on my door step with four arrows in his back, looking pale and bleeding profusely, and, when I tried to call an ambulance and he coughed, “No, there’s no time—quick, take this…” and bequeathed unto me the magical medallion he wears on a gold chain around his neck, the one that gives him the power to do whatever the hell he wants with The Avengers franchise and always somehow always sell a lot of issues of each no matter what, I would totally have The Human Torch, Spider-Man and Ice Man on the team, and they’d form their own little clique. (Also on Caleb’s Avengers? Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, She-Hulk—that’s right, two Hulks!—Namor, Quicksilver, Beast, Storm, Luke Cage, The Falcon, Atlas, Hercules, Ant-Man III, The Wasp, Black Panther, maybe Daimon Hellstrom The Son of Satan, possibly Thor and definitely Wolverine.)

So anyway, this looks like an ideal comic; like Spidey and his Amazing Friends, but without any girls around to spoil the fun.


JohnF said...

I'm probably the only guy who actually likes the Sentry.

Caleb said...

Well, you and Paul Jenkins.

Mory said...

I wonder when Marvel's going to start stacking variants. Everyone knows what fans have been waiting for is zombie Skrull monkey Amish clown variants.

Anonymous said...

Big Hero 6 had a mini in the late 90's. Created by Scott Lobdell, sez Wikipedia. I had a few issues. Not bad, but kinda forgettable.

Simon (formerly Johnny Sorrow) said...

Big Hero 6 also showed up in Lobdell's Alpha Flight revival (the funny one with Puck's daughter.)

SallyP said...

It's a little sad for me. I used to read Marvel exclusively, and now I just don'e CARE anymore. Skrulls? Sentry? Marvel Monkys?

I must admit that the Incredible Hercules and Wolverine:First Class are amusing however. And I've heard good things about Captain Britain.

Jacob T. Levy said...

I can hardly even understand what it would *mean* to like the Sentry.

Tony said...

Big Hero 6 sounds like an attenuated Sovereign 7.

Evie said...

I like how they admit in writing that CB is the hottest comic to come out of Secret Invasion. Hotter than, say, Secret Invasion.

Derek said...

I would totally buy your Avengers, Caleb. Thank you for including Beast.

Honestly, I saw that X-Men: First Class cover and actually heard myself say "Hells yeah."

Those three should have their own title. At least a miniseries.